I believe we can live a great life with our dogs by letting go of fairy tales—Rin Tin Tin, Max, 101 Dalmatians. Those stories are fiction. But Marley & Me? That can be real.

How?

By accepting reality, adapting to social and technological changes, and creating a dynamic that works—not for everyone, but for you and your dog.

Take the best of what once was, acknowledge today’s challenges, and build something better. In modern dog training, positive reinforcement and love reign supreme. But reality and practicality matter too. It’s time we show them some respect.

 

Choose to Be Present and Consciously Responsible as a Dog Owner

One remarkable trait of human nature is our ability to think abstractly and make deliberate decisions. Dogs rely on instinct and physical ability. Our ability to adapt gives us the responsibility to guide them with intention.

Become an active dog owner

Being active doesn’t mean becoming an athlete. It means making thoughtful choices that align with both today’s social realities and a dog’s biological needs. If we don’t shape their instincts for life in our world, they’ll struggle to navigate it on their own. That often leads to problems. Structured procedures and good training create an environment where your dog could feel fulfilled, resilient, calm, and safe. It also requires you to stay present in the moment—not dwell in the past or future in a way that inhibits you.

 

Education and preparation

Many people spend months researching toys, beds, and leashes before getting a dog but invest little time developing their own dog handling and training skills. But having the right equipment won’t prepare you for the realities of raising and training a dog.

 

Hands-on Experience Before Getting a Dog

If you don’t want to jump in blind, there are ways to prepare:

• Foster a dog. Work with different temperaments to see what you can handle.
• Visit your breeder. Get to know the parents, help with handling, cleaning, and cooperative care.
• Volunteer at a dog club or training school. Observe different dogs, attend sessions, and learn from experienced trainers.
• Know your state and local laws. Ignorance won’t protect you if things go wrong.
• Understand social norms. Laws and cultural expectations vary. For example, in South Africa, people are often held responsible if bitten by a guard dog. In Australia, owners are typically liable, even when others provoke the dog.

 

It’s much easier to navigate the ups and downs of dog ownership when you know what to expect and if you have someone you can go to for help/advice. Being educated and proactive isn’t overkill—it’s just smart.

Respect biology

If you’re choosing a specific breed, understand its genetic needs. What drives will you need to manage? Will they suit your lifestyle? What is the breeder focusing on? Every choice comes with trade-offs.

My experience:

When I wanted a puppy from Stella (a Dutch Shepherd from KNVP bloodlines), I spent five years researching. I asked breeders and trainers countless questions, watched training videos, and studied working breeds.

I needed to know:

• Temperament trends – Common reactivity issues and what they meant.
• Thresholds and drives – How the bloodline handled stress, arousal, frustration, and anxiety.
• Common behaviour problems – Vocal, mouthy, destructive, and reactive traits when unfulfilled.
• Health concerns – No major issues, but injury risk due to high intensity.
• Breeder goals – Were the dogs bred for human-friendliness or working ability?
• Activity options – If I couldn’t do the job the dog was bred for, what alternatives existed?

 

I loved what I saw in the bloodlines. From there, I got to know my individual puppy, Ziva. If you’re rescuing a dog, don’t stress. A dog is a dog before it’s a breed, and all dogs are predators. Start with that understanding.

Closing Thoughts

Being a responsible dog owner isn’t just about gear or training techniques—it’s a mindset. Your approach shapes how you handle the challenges and joys of dog ownership. The more hands-on experience you gain, the more confident you’ll be. Thoughtful decisions create a well-balanced, fulfilled, and resilient dog.