‘To Submit or Not? The Surprising Truth About Love and Respect in Marriage

November 5, 2024

When Does a Woman Become Convinced That a Man Truly Loves Her?

What an important question! To start, here’s a thought-provoking question for the woman: Would you obey a husband who sacrifices, provides, and tirelessly does everything for you, day in and day out, until his dying breath? I bet the answer is “yes.” It’s just the truth.

 

When the hunt is over:

Scripture says: “Husbands, love your wives,” (Ephesians 5:25 KJV). Why not “wives, love your husbands”? It’s simple. Think back to dating: when a man actively pursues a woman and puts effort into romantic gestures, she often falls deeply in love with him. Yet, after marriage, when a husband stops showing that same effort, the love can dwindle to a quiet ember. A wife feels loved when her husband continues to cherish and prioritise her as he did in the beginning.

I believe that a wife finds it easy to follow, obey, and respect a husband who commits himself to her well-being and prioritises her genuine needs—not simply her wants, which can lead to entitlement. When his actions consistently demonstrate care for her best interests—not indulging every desire but safeguarding what truly matters—she feels secure, valued, and deeply cherished.

To me, love means prioritising her needs and making choices that protect, uplift, and encourage her growth. A husband who leads with this kind of love creates a foundation of trust and respect, making it not only easy but natural for his wife to follow his lead in a way that feels deeply fulfilling.

The question of when a woman becomes convinced of a man’s love is nuanced, rooted in emotional and spiritual principles that resonate uniquely in each relationship. Biblically, love is not merely spoken but shown through selfless, sacrificial, and consistent actions. Let’s explore how these principles play out in marriage:

👉 Leading by Example, Protecting Her Nature:

A husband shows love by setting a standard through his own actions, making his leadership natural to follow. His example fosters respect without coercion, honouring her nature instead of holding it against her. Colossians 3:19 KJV advises husbands to love with understanding and respect, while Genesis 3:16 KJV calls for a protection that respects her unique qualities.

👉 Sacrifice as Love’s Foundation:

True love places a wife’s needs before a husband’s personal desires, ambitions, or comfort. Ephesians 5:25 KJV instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—a love that required the ultimate sacrifice. John 15:13 KJV further illustrates that true love is laying down one’s life for another, be it through grand gestures or everyday sacrifices.

👉 Public Respect, Private Guidance:

A wife feels loved when her husband respects her publicly, standing by her in front of family, friends, and society. Privately, he offers gentle, clear and firm correction, providing respectful, constructive guidance. Ephesians 5:31 KJV highlights the unity of this bond, while Ephesians 4:31-32 KJV encourages kindness, forgiveness, and a spirit dedicated to each other’s well-being.

👉 Supporting Growth, Nurturing Weaknesses:

A woman feels cherished when her husband actively supports her growth and helps her address weaknesses. Ephesians 5:28-29 KJV calls husbands to care for their wives as they would their own bodies, attending to their emotional, mental, and physical needs. By understanding her strengths and vulnerabilities, he strengthens her sense of being truly loved.

👉 Reassuring Loyalty and Exclusivity:

A woman feels secure in her husband’s love when his loyalty is unwavering, both in thought and action. Matthew 5:28 KJV warns against even entertaining thoughts of others, emphasising purity of devotion. This commitment assures her of her husband’s exclusivity, building an unshakeable foundation of trust.

👉 Decision-Making with Her Well-being in Mind:

Finally, a woman knows she is loved when her husband’s decisions are made for her benefit rather than his own gain. A loving leader builds security and trust through choices that reflect 1 Corinthians 13:5 KJV, where love “does not seek its own”.
In essence, love that convinces is love shown consistently in action. Scripture shows that true love is practical, enduring, and outward-focused. It is rooted in sacrifice, loyalty, respect, and selflessness, fostering an environment where a wife can flourish. When her husband embodies these principles, not perfectly but earnestly, she feels his love tangibly in word and deed.

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