An exchange of messages that happened in late July 2023, carried stark criticisms and unkind remarks, underscoring apparent shortcomings in my approach and character. What began as a challenging interaction, rife with tension and conflicting perspectives, unexpectedly transformed into a valuable lesson in self-reflection.

I found myself grappling with the urge to respond in kind, mirroring the hostility presented to me. But, I made a conscious choice to take a different path. Instead, I chose to pause, to reflect, and to contemplate the underlying message. Seeking guidance, I turned to people I trust, using them as a sounding board for introspection. This decision led me to confront the emotions swirling within and to reconsider my responses. It’s in these moments of adversity that we often uncover pearls of wisdom, hidden beneath the surface of conflict and discord.

Following the example of Jesus Christ and being blessed with His grace and mercy, I’ve found the time, space, and comfort to embrace adversity. This has allowed me to navigate through this difficult situation with a sense of calm and understanding. The teachings of compassion, forgiveness, and patience have become my guiding principles in facing such challenges.

My tribe, my support system, has been a profound source of strength. They provide me with the space, grace, and forgiveness when I’m left with nothing in me, reacting impulsively in the moment. They allow me the time to reflect and gather my thoughts, offering me the chance to come back, ask for forgiveness, and share what I’ve learned from the experience. Their understanding and support during these times of learning and growth are invaluable.

The choice is ours; we can follow a downward spiral of back-and-forth conflict, an easier path. But why waste such seemingly disastrous moments? Instead, we can use them for learning, growth, and personal development.

As I navigated this storm of criticism, I recognized the opportunity hidden within. It challenged me to reevaluate my approach and to examine the message behind the harsh words. The truth is, that adversity often acts as a catalyst for my personal growth. It has offered me a chance to explore my reactions, my triggers, and my potential personal growth edges.

Amid this experience, I was reminded of the value of pausing, of taking a breath before responding, and of seeking understanding rather than immediate retaliation. The moments when we feel attacked can teach us about our resilience and capacity for empathy. What I learned, this person is toxic at this point in her life, and very reactive in her behaviours and responses, I don’t believe she is aware of the inappropriate level of hostility in proportion to the points she tried to make and her opinions she tried to force upon me. This is not a character trait I value in my tribe, because I don’t force my opinion on others; besides how would you do that without becoming a tyrant?

The path of personal growth isn’t always a smooth one. It often entails facing difficult moments, embracing discomfort, and navigating through challenges that test our patience and character. It’s easy to fall into the trap of reacting impulsively, especially when confronted with criticism. But this experience has reminded me that choosing a different course—one of reflection, introspection, and learning—is far more rewarding.

While I strive to learn from this interaction, I’ve also made the conscious decision not to engage back. I’m keeping my distance until such time that seeing, hearing, or having to interact with this person will not trigger me. I aim to maintain a level of professionalism and not let this experience affect my attitude towards them. My goal is to remain open to helping this person, should they ever ask for assistance. However, I hold reservations, recognizing that unless they confront their traumas and exhibit maturity, this person may not seek my guidance.